She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
