Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
