YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
