Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
