Dual....:-)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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