I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
