Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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