addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
