If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
