Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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