dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
