Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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