I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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