I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
