And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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