My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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