awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
