Where are you?
In a non slutty way
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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