Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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