The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
