So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize