i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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