so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize