I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
