Your face is a jimmy john
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
