i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
