Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
