idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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