physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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