Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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