i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
