...so i touched it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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