fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize