Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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