are you so shy because you have an std?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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