Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
