Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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