I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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