I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
