I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
