Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
