So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
be right there i have to get my cape
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
