so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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