D3 body, D1 cock
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
