dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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