Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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