I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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