who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
