I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize