So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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