ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
