Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
