i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
