i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My dick has a subreddit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
